he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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