I just saw a hot homeless man
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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