If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
