Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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