please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
