U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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