So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
