Kiss
Puke
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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