I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
