I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
