You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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