well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
