Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
