I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize