Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
