update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
whose parrot is this?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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