My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why didn't you poke me back
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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