you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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