please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We need a shit load of segways right now
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
