I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
