Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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