i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's blow job season.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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