I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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