he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
