This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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