It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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