I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize