Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
