you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so explain again why im purple
no
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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