Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
