My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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