thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
