it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
