Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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