When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
