wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize