I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
