I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
