I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
