Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
