3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
worst night to have a conscience
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
