i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
