Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
