Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
