I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
