I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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