Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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