so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
