U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
