I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
