omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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