haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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