i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
