Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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