Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
