yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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