I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
