youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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