I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
