I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
