if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
