Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
