winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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