When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
