Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
