Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
