She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize