her facebook's as public as her vagina
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
