Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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