fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
