dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
